Relationships

So for the past, let's say 20 years, I have been asking what happens during a relationship? What makes a relationship work? What is a relationship?

The answers mainly came along the lines of "Each relationship is different. It is what each person makes it to be." 🤦🏿

I guess I was asking those questions to the wrong people. Cause I have finally come across the answer that is truly what I was looking for over the years.

SPEND TIME TOGETHER

If only people had just said that I would have been more open to people. At least in the long term.

There are so many factors which made this so difficult for me to figure out. It all pieced together when I came across 3 different information.

1. When someone gets into a relationship they will lose on average 2 friends (I have experienced this several times) 

2. If you want to make friends as an adult go somewhere regularly. The people who are normally there will become acquainted with you and if y'all vibe, y'all become friends.

3. If you want a relationship to prosper (romantic, friend, intimate), hang out alot and get to know each other.

Why did this not click in my head as a young girl reading Mills & Boons, Harlequins, and Temptations Books? Why didn't I see it when it came to all those romantic sitcoms and movies? I used to make fun of the storyline behind all of the books: Man and woman interact and hate each other. Man and woman are forced to have to do some kind of activity together. Man and woman realize that each is pretty cool and have great characteristics. Man and woman fall deeply in love.💓💓💓

If it was that simple, why didn't people just say that? I wouldn't be surprised if they thought that I was already spending time with people (romantic, friends, intimate). When in fact I just stay home and surf the internet. 

There are a few people that I do hang out with periodically but I know that they have deeper connections with people they see on a regular basis. I can't get made at that.

So my goal is to get out there and foster some relationships and see where it goes from there.

OXXO

Mayeshah!!!

Friend cycle

So occasionally I would think of all kinda random ish. And sometimes my ish is quite sensible. Every time I look at Facebook and YouTube and instagram, what do I see? Ppl hanging out with their friends. I never noticed how much ppl went out with friends until I took a good long look.

Yea Family is important but you need to get away from them at times and just be ... you. That is why each person is different. Each person has a group of friends that make them who they are. Right now my list of friends have dwindled down to .... a small few. My original set of friends have turned into Acquaintances. People I used to beg and plead to hang out with when I was younger. Now that I am (grown) I don't have those urges anymore and I think that is why I am becoming quite distant from people in general. If it wasn't for my Job I would have become a hermit.

I now have the issue where I would be invited out by someone and make up a random excuse for not going. So I need to get over this. :( Or else. I would become a recluse (if that is how you spell it, not in the mood for spell check been up since 2:30am)

It is also said that as you get older you will have your original group of friends from high school and then you would have your friends from present day. Some of the original might move on with their lives and become BFFs to someone else and slip off your radar. This has slapped me hard in the face a few times because I kinda thought that we gonna be best friends for decades (which never happen). I think a friendship span is like 7 years and then after that you either have to find something else that your friendship is based on or find new friends.

I guess right now my closest friends are people at work (Verandah Resort and Spa) and persons who are part of the Antigua Toastmasters Club (check out that plug).Then since the Expressions Poetry in the Pub starts back up, as well as the Best of Books Poetry club, I will meet up with them again. These persons although you may see them on the fly and say a polite hi, when you meet them at these gatherings y'all are long lost besties who share as much as possible in between Poems.

So I am in dire need to get out of my comfort zone and go places. But of course my need to be with ppl overrides this need. I need a ride at least I can pick up ppl at the side of the road!!! Right now the only person that I go out with is my sister and if not I feel quite awkward (which in actual truth I dont go at all) I love chilling with my sister but she is a comfort zone that I need to stray a lil from.

Well I gonna drop my sis home and hopefully get home in time to get some good good sleep.

OXXO

Mayeshah!!!