Should I Believe In God?

This is a question which I have asked myself a few times in my life. It seems when going into this you should always explain your journey to how you reach where you are now. So here goes:



I am born and raised in the little island of Antigua to a Jamaican mother and an Antiguan father. Both of which were raised Christian. I can remember a few times we (my sister, brother and I) would be taken to church by my dad while my mom stayed home to cook. But that kinda came to an end when I was really young as I don't remember much of that. As I grow up and start going to school, gaining knowledge of the world around me and the people I will be interacting with I have been having mixed emotions on religion. I can remember this girl I met during the summer at the plaza my mom had her store and we were hanging out all the time. Then the September I saw she was attending the same primary school as me. You would probably think it would just result in me being even closer with her; but no. At that age I had my first example of don't mix certain friends ( but let me use that as another post ^_^) . So the person I met at the plaza in the summer was not the person I met at school. This girl was overly religious and quite .... (maybe not this but from what I remember) CONCEITED. She claimed that she was a Christian and then would be the same time be going around spreading rumours and tattling on friends of mine. She grew to be one of the most disliked persons in the class and was labelled "One Day Christian".



As time progressed I met other persons who were raised in the church and probably wondering why I wasn't. I was invited to a few services and church activities by friends, however they just seem quite boring to me. I started to learn about how the Caribbean persons were brought to the Caribbean but could not comprehend that it was also one of the reasons why Christianity is the number 1 religion in the Caribbean.



I then went to Antigua Girls' High School where I met more church goers and a few which were very VERY religious. As I am not one to rock the boat I never made anyone none the wiser until they asked me what church I go to and my response would be I am christened Pentecostal. After a while it got out that I was not a church goer nor a Christian and a few of my friends would try and convert me. Once again inviting me to church and youth meetings. I guess at that point my mind shifted a little more when I remember hearing about this one girl who had  the same name as a character in the bible and she had such a bad personality, just like the character in the bible. It just seemed like a breeding ground for rumours to be spread and so on and so forth.



I have had my few attempts to read the bible but never passed Genesis. I always walked with a testament as we were required to at assembly to have our testaments to recite a scripture. I stopped doing that after I went to State College. I have a few favourite Christian songs, but I can't say that I can identify with being a Christian. I have spoken to persons who has told me how religion has helped them. Both the church as a community and the faith.



As I got older conversations happen and you learn of instances where people from the church are almost as bad as people outside the church and in a few cases worst. I have a vague overview of the different organized religions. But now have settled on why should I follow any of these organized religions? Why be Baptiste over Catholic or Pentecostal over Adventist or even Episcopalian over Anglican. Why should I chose to be Christianity over Judaism, Islam, or Hinduism.  I could go deeper. I could share more about the experiences I have had but that would turn into a book.



So just like Anna in the video below I define myself as AGNOSTIC.  This is where I settle whether the Christians don't understand my choice to be Agnostic and the Atheist refer to me being a lazy Atheist. This is who I is!!!



Now check out this vid which inspired this post.





OXXO



Mayeshah!!!

Welcome to 2016

I have been scarcer than black diamonds in the Caribbean in the year 2015. I have been saying soon I will be posting everyday and everynight. But everyday I end up frustrated and everynight I veg out in front of YouTube.

This year I make no promises but I will show lots of actions. I decided not to lie to myself for the new year of 2016. My resolution was the same as the past few years. Lose weight and become a happier person. But just saying it and then before 1/12th of the year is completed I already broke them both.

So I decided two things are what will happen this year. The first thing is I will smile more whether it is just a smile to hide my frustration or a full out laugh.



The second thing is I will be consistent. Yes there are days when you just can't do that one thing you have to do but when you give up is when you fail at it . SOOOO the goal is to never give up. A Youtuber that I am subscribed to has an acronym for this and live by it everyday.



It is a motto to live by to get far. If you have Faith in yourself and your abilities and in some cases a higher power that make you believe it will happen. Consistency is the defining factor as you can have faith in it but when hard times hit you give up all together. Hard Work is the underdog but without it Faith and Consistency is just a dream that has not been started.

As the year has started so far my friends allow me to laugh and my work allows me to smile to hide my frustrations. The consistency is all in my actions. As long as I keep moving forward that is all that matters.

With this new year I will prove my consistency on my blog and keep you up to date on what is going on in this crazy head of mine.

Gonna go and get some food in my system.

OXXO

Mayeshah!!!



Pic Sources: Cheshire Cat and FCHW