Lost like Maggie!!

I am lost... I finally saw the movie Runaway Bride and it made me look at myself a lil harder. Gosh.. I am Lost. I was having lunch with some of my friends from Freshman year and they were saying that they HATE when people count calories. I never used to do it so before this academic year started that statement would never apply to me. But last night when I went to the supermarket to get my recipes for my macaroni pie my roommate was saying that she always calorie count. Not only the calories but the fat calories as well. This is where I notice that I am lost. I want to fit into both situations but I cant. :(

I know I am suppose to be my own person and all but it is hard to do that when I am used to making other people like me. When I be my own person I hate more people more and more everyday. So I learn to be diverse. Just like Maggie in Runaway Bride I havent found myself yet, I just roll with the motion and pick up interests from other people. It is harsh.

Oh and I have come to terms with the fact that I am a pussi. I hate sarcasm, I dislike when people use harsh sarcasm with me, and hell my psych professor said anyone who base their personality on sarcasm is a sick and twisted person. It hurts man. It really really hurts sometimes. I dont mind when it is lil things but when you are making fun of something that I never done before It effing hurts. :(

I tell people that I know I am lame like that for being a pussi but after learning the true meaning of sarcasm (comes from the Latin sacar which means to tear flesh) I have noticed that my life would be better without sarcasm. But nooo I wont tell anyone because I dont want anyone to change because of me. I rather make them stay how they are because some of these actual people I will never ever see again. Those that I will see again I will either learn to wear a word-proof overall and get over it or just tell them about it when it really hurts.

It also funny that people dont know what I am thinking because they would know that sometimes I would just want to hold them by the neck and stab them in the gut. Ok I am over. I just hope that I get found soon.

OXXO

Mayeshah!!