Saturday, February 5, 2011

3 weeks

Well today (5th Feb,2010) makes it 3 weeks I am working. And last night I stabbed myself with a pen.

Everyone said it is alot of work and I accepted the lots of work but when the supervisor is stressing a point that you cannot get away from and then a guest totally cusses you out I just wanted to seriously quit. But no that would get me no where.

Today started pretty good at that but then after I had a conversation with the F&B manager I got cussed out by the Supervisor. When I was in the conversation I saw a few guest arrive and sat at the bar and I was like "oh some of the guest are here" and his response was "the others can see you talking to me so they will help the guest."  So when I went inside after the conversation, the supervisor started on me telling me I still have to do my tasks before service time. I told her the the F&B manager was talkin to me and she continued "if he comes in here and the task isnt done he will be upset". Basically killing my excuse. :( So I feel like I am inbetween a true tug of war.

I dunno I dont wanna give up. The F&B manager doesnt want me to give up, the GM doesnt want me to give up (he never said it in so many words). But I know that when I get really nervous or upset I start to take it out on myself or begin to cry.

I know I am weak and that is one of the main reasons that I decided to work instead of doing my main objective first. If I gain all the experience necessary and all the SOPs (Standards of Procedures) which no one is giving me straight up, I have to pick up over time.

I dunno maybe I would rather someone treating me like I am slightly ADHD than someone getting upset with me on a regular basis.
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