Thursday, September 9, 2010

Dont Let Me Get Me PLEASE!!!

I came across a phrase in my sister's blog today and It explains exactly how i felt today and feel almost every other day!!

I wanted to be normal,
I wanted to be loved,
I wanted what I saw in movies
And read in novels.
The sad thing is
That was not the reality.

I know normal is what we are living in but sometimes when you watch movies like Mama Mia and Sisterhood of Traveling Pants and all them other movies. I just sometimes wish i was living that life and leave this one alone.

Today I put on some lipstick and eyeshadow and kept my hair down and I felt that I looked good! Then when I went to the parking lot that my mom has a reserved spot, one of the attendants asked why I have on the lipstick (he couldnt see my eyes because I had on shades). I told him because I like to put it on. He then started saying that it is covering up my natural beauty and all that stuff. But after giving him some half baked answer I noticed the real reason was because I wanted to be someone else. Since you cant see your face through your own eyes (without the use of a mirror) I would imagine I look a different way and carry on the personality of that other person. It is easier pretending to be someone else than trying to figure out who you are.

Gosh I got issues :( But My low self esteem makes me not wanna be myself.
This song explains alot


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