Sunday, May 8, 2011

Gotta try to start Letting Go

For I feel like i have pissed off a friend of mine and it makes me feel hollow and empty inside. It isnt the first and most likely wont be the last. :(

I either say something or do something that pisses them off. Or the most common way, we just drift apart and find other interests. :(

I believe that is one of the main reasons I am in the hotel industry cause I can interact with people and feel really happy that I meet new people. But then before I could say or do anything that would piss them off (or get me fired) they are gone and I will have a new set of individuals to interact with.

For the entire day I have had this nagging pain like I wanna cry my eyes out,but I have been fighting it. The disadvantage with being all happy and everything, when I feel like crap everyone can see it! I dont wanna look anyone in the eye or even be in the same room with anyone.

They say if you hate something about yourself either change it if you can or learn to love it if you can't. I noticed that it is easier said than done.

I drove a coworker (close to) home and even though I didnt get to ask him the question that I ask everyone. He brought it to my attention that my life sucks because of me. I make my life suck.

I want something outragous to happen so that I will just Let Go of all my fears and inhibitions.



People saying that I am fake but how can I be fake if I was never real in the first place. Now to find a way to express my fakeness to the point of realness, even if it is to become even faker than they think I am.

Ok I think I will give up the rant (or confession whatever this is!)

OXXO

Mayeshah!!!

P.S. hope you enjoy this song!!^
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