I am part of this organization called the ToastMasters Antigua Club which helps members enhance their Public Speaking and Leadership Skills. I have been a member for almost a year now (or something like that) and I have only reached my second speech. I reach much further in my Leadership skill training but that is if I am prepared. Yesterday I found out I was the Host of the evening (Toastmaster) and I wasn't PREPARED. I automatically started to freak out and began having a anxiety attack (not the hyperventilating kind but the kind where I start to shake and cry).
How EMBARRASSING!! I tried to go through with it but I just couldn't stop crying so I had to change roles.
I never knew I actually suffered from Anxiety Attacks until yesterday and looking back at past experiences when I am very anxious about something I get like that.
When I was in university I had a course where I had to be the Sous Chef for a restaurant. The planning and everything was easily completed. The Professor was very impressed by my planning skills but when it came to implementing I began to freak out and all my plans basically went down the drain.
That was one of the reasons I got a B in the class.
This Anxiety also affects me in stressful situations at work. At the reception I would be overwhelmed and it is like my brain shuts down and I am uncertain of what I can and cannot do. When there are 10-20 persons in front of you waiting to check in, you have the phone ringing, people coming to you for keys or information. I automatically shut down.
THIS IS NOT GOOD!
So the next question is how to control this so that I can be a better speaker and leader?
Well there are many ways which I will attempt to share with you over the next few ... weeks? days? months? We will see how this works out.
The first one I may mention is DRUGS.
They have so many drugs out there that can help you relax. Marijuana, Zoloft (I think that is the name) are used to calm the nerves, make you more relaxed but one of them is not legal and the other might become addicting. Soo I do believe that it is not the best choice when it comes to becoming a better speaker and leader.
So please stay tuned for the next installment of: "What are you Anxious about?"