Life in the mind of Mayeshah: FEELINGS

What the hell is this thing called feelings?

I have been struggling with this thing for the longest time (well for the new year). WikiPedia defines Feelings as 'the inner body experience.. The word was first used in the English language to describe the physical sensation of touch through either experience or perception. The word is also used to describe experiences other than the physical sensation of touch, such as "a feeling of warmth" and of sentience in general.'

While Merriam-Webster defines it as these:

a (1) : the one of the basic physical senses of which the skin contains the chief end organs and of which the sensations of touch and temperature are characteristic : touch (2) : a sensation experienced through this sense

b : generalized bodily consciousness or sensation

c : appreciative or responsive awareness or recognition

a : an emotional state or reaction feeling

toward the boy>

b plural : susceptibility to impression : sensitivity feelings>

a : the undifferentiated background of one's awareness considered apart from any identifiable sensation, perception, or thought

b : the overall quality of one's awareness

c : conscious recognition : sense

a : often unreasoned opinion or belief : sentiment

b : presentiment

: capacity to respond emotionally especially with the higher emotions

: the character ascribed to something : atmosphere

a : the quality of a work of art that conveys the emotion of the artist

b : sympathetic aesthetic response

I believe 2, 3, and 5 is what has me losing my sanity. I have been having feelings which give me pains in my chest and pains in my head. Work feelings, social feelings, just feelings of inadequacy, feelings of jealousy, and even feelings of pure unadulterated HATRED. These feelings are just what driving me crazy.

What should I do? Drink? No my tolerance is too high for drinking. Use coffee? Nahh dont wanna get hooked again. Cut myself? Ok that is just an extreme. But what should I do?

Luckily I got a lil work out ;) which has helped release some of them feelings. Then some seriously good info from a friend which just got rid of more of them pesky feelings!

But a new week is starting. Will the feelings come back? Will I have difficulties controlling them feelings? Should I work out more?? We will see as the year progresses.

Will keep you posted on my feelings dilemma as time goes on.

OXXO

Mayeshah