Saturday, March 14, 2015

Failure vs. Success

I was doing some work yesterday when a co-worker approached me and requested my signature on a document. I, of course, jokingly asked "Oh you want my autograph?" .... or at least that is how I remember it went. (Damn Short Term Memory). So I began signing and there was an area asking what is your position? Next to it had Accountant/Vote Counter/ (something else that I could care less about). I asked her what am I she advised me that I was a Vote Counter (seriously my brain really is bad cause vote counter looks weird. But it had the word Vote in it). I asked her what that was and her response someone who is able to give information about a staff member. I asked her why not an accountant? I do accounting work. She told me that an accountant is someone who has gone through and gotten certified in Accounting. 


MIND BLOWING .... but...I guess you wondering why I mentioned that whole spiel up there. Just so you know the background of how this came up. 

I told her I dont have any degrees in Accounting but I have my Bachelors in Hotel Management. The question that has dumbfounded me ever time escaped her lips. "WHY ARE YOU HERE?? WHY NOT BE AN ASSISTANT MANAGER SOMEWHERE ELSE??"

My heart kinda crushed a bit and my excuse for the past ... let me think... four years is I want experience. 

I then came across this blog post HERE and it is more of a home hitter for the real reason why I dont aim for the gold. I do have lots of fears but these are the biggest.

I noticed that some of the qualities that I think would be necessary for any kind of management position is to have a backbone, which I feel like I have not developed. The ability to say no and not have people believe that I am joking. So the fear of becoming management and then failing at my duties is heart wrenching. 

"What if I succeed?" The lil conscience voice in my brain whispers. "What if my skills are what would make me an awesome manager?" 

I am not so much afraid of success but it is still an unknown factor. Maybe I should aim for bigger and see it all as a school project. I have been dealing with a job which is a task for 2 persons but I am kinda  (ok not soo much) managing it. 

I must say this post has made me think while writing it. Thanks for sitting through my mental squabble online. 

OXXO

Mayeshah!!!


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