After hearing about the loss of my friend... well more like acquaintance... I felt a hard pang in my heart and brain. I admit i hung out with her once or twice and I didnt know her well. But I loved her nevertheless. She has such a great personality and was very nice. I then found out she had a blogsite and just HAD  to follow her. When I started I was addicted and loved every post she had put up after that! I had learnt alot about her from her blog including stuff that gave her happiness and some of those things gave me happiness too. ;_;

Then to make it even worst I started to think about how short life can be. I thought about my friendships and how I dont hang out with them as much as I would love to. This makes me wanna cry because people who I consider as my close friends could just go just like that and I would never have even got a chance to hang out with them like how I want to.

I even think about what I would be like if I had the ability to just visit friends when ever I wanted to. Just to chill. What stuff I would have learned from them and so forth. :(

Well I have a headache right now because I am trying not to cry at the thought of losing an acquaintance that I had much love and much respect for.

OXXO

Mayeshah!!!

I will miss you dear and RIP

We will miss you, darlin!

Ordz, I didnt know you that well but omg I felt so close to you through your blogs! Your blogs have made me feel soo happy and at peace but now I will never be able to read them ever again ;_;

I cant believe you have passed away. I have just started getting into your second blog and this is like a knife in my heart!! Well I am not one who can explain how I feel through words so I shall share this poem to the world so that People will know how much you were loved! People will also be able to read your blogs and know the part of you that I have grown to love and respect!!!

R.I.P. and I will always remember you!!

OXXO

Mayeshah!!!

Hours
Staring.
For hours, I sit staring solemnly at the phone
Waiting for it to ring.
Time is short they say
A decade but a drop in the ocean of eternity
What then must an hour be?
A cell on the hairs of a flea in the infinity of the universe.
An hour ago, I could have picked up that phone
And heard your voice.
I could have made a joke and heard your laugh.
An hour ago.
A portion of time so insignificant to the universe
A wind in the vast emptiness of space
A portion of time I would give anything to have again.
There is so much I could have told you
Asked you
Showed you...
An hour ago
So still I sit....staring at the phone
Wishing it were an hour ago
Or a day ago, or a week ago, or a month ago, or a year ago...
It’s said that life is short
Life IS short
Love is not
I loved you before I met you
I loved you before we spoke
I loved you before we laughed
I loved you before we cried
I would have loved you even if I had never met you at all.
I will love you now...long after you’re gone
Death is for the living
The dead know only life.
It’s difficult to feel sad for you
Knowing that you’re free from all the limitations of life
Whether you’re in a better place,
Or just at peace
You are certainly not angry, or sad, or frightened, or in pain.
Those are sensations and emotions interpreted by your body
The body you’ve left behind
Something tangible for the living
To aid our memories
I’ll go to your funeral and tell you bye
But you’ve already left
I’ll sit at night and speak to you
But you’ve heard everything I have to say
You know the meaning of life
You know the answers to the unanswerable
I wish
Just for a moment
That you could come back and tell me who’s right
That you could speak to the world and let them know how pointless their arguments are
Because you know
But you can’t
Or you won’t
Maybe the answers are so wonderful, the suspense is necessary
I don’t know where you really are
Whether here with me
Or someplace better
But I do know your memory remains.
I’ll never remember the clothes you wore
Or the things you bought
I’ll never remember the balance on your bank account
What I will remember are the small things
The things I took for granted each day
Your smile,
The way you walked,
The sound of your laughter,
The way you shook my hand,
The way you hugged me,
Your company
Your you-ness
I’ll always remember those things.
If only it were an hour ago...
I would do them all one last time.
But if everyone had an hour back, time would stand still forever
My hour’s gone
And so are you
I’ll miss you
Just like I’ll miss all those hours I spent knowing you
The minutes I spent talking to you
The seconds I spent laughing with you
Time is always moving forward, mercilessly, compassionately,
Hatefully, Lovingly...
Unbiased and unaffected...
Hours march on not caring about our feelings, our wants or our desires
I don’t hate the hours though
They gave me you
They took you away
And still they march.
Hours may come and go
But love lasts forever.
I’ll stop staring at the phone
Waiting for a call I know won’t ever come.
Instead, I will raise the receiver to my ear
And speak to someone I love.
So that the next hour that passes
Doesn’t leave me wishing...
It were an hour ago.


- Jarid Hewlett

Venus Fly Trap

I kinda want something to take care of. But the question is what!?? A dog? they too poopy. A cat? they too moody. How about a Venus Flytrap? YESSSSS!!!!!!!!! Well i got one of those Grow Your Own Venus Flytrap Kits.

Venus Flytraps are one of the real wonders of nature. They live in completely sterile conditions, feeding off flies attracted by the colour and sweet smell of their leaves. When a fly lands it disturbs tiny trigger hairs, causing the trap to spring shut with astonishing speed. The trap stays shut for the 5 to 10 days it takes to digest its prey.

YAY!!! So right now I have my fly trap in the pot and i will have to ways 4 to 6 weeks to see if I get the little buggers!!! Then When they get bigger I will transfer my babies into a 3" pot!!! yay!!!!

So I will keep you updated!!!

OXXO

Mayeshah!!!

MEOW

I just had to share this one!!!

OXXO

Mayeshah!!!

cows & cows & cows

After watching this I will never look at a cow the same way again. If this is what they are doing when we are not looking then I am not even gonna be around them.

Crazy Alien Cows



OXXO

Mayeshah!!!

Pug sings Batman theme

This has made my morning!!!!!

BATTMAAANN!!!!LOL


OXXO

Mayeshah!!!

Kick-Ass

HEY hEY

I finally saw the movie Kick-Ass and it was EPIC!!! I LOVED IT!!! IT IS SOO DVD WORTHY!!!

SO NOW I AM LOOKING TO GET THE SOUNDTRACK:

Kick-Ass Soundtrack (Songs) – Track List
1. Stand Up – The Prodigy x
2. Kick Ass (We Are Young) – Mika Vs. Redone x
3. Can’t Go Back – Primal Scream x
4. There’s A Pot A Brewin’ – The Little Ones x
5. Omen – The Prodigy x
6. Make Me Wanna Die – The Pretty Reckless x
7. Banana Splits – The Dickies x
8. Starry Eyed – Ellie Goulding x
9. This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us – Sparks
10. We’re All In Love – The New York Dolls x
11. Bongo Song – Zongamin x
12. Per Qualche Dollaro In Piu – Ennio Morricone x
13. Bad Reputation – The Hit Girls x
14. An American Trilogy – Elvis Presley x

The ones with the X at the end are the ones i have and I dont have 1 because it is hard to find :( bt oh well

Gone to bed

OXXO

Mayeshah!!!

Devil - Trailer

This movie looks mad scary but I would bear through it to see how crazy it is



OXXO

Mayeshah

Layori

After that first song by here I noticed she did some English songs so I looked them up and I came across these and I really really like her voice!!!!

Here are a few!!!
With Or Whithout You (acoustic)


Hold On



Your Love


Mystic of Love


OXXO

Mayeshah!!!

Layori - Dada

OXXO


Mayeshah!!!

Killer Cats, Movies and even a FAcebook Game!

A couple things are going to be discussed today!! Number 1

Killer Cats:http://tribune-democrat.com/local/x1671042183/NEW-Cats-were-eating-man-74-found-dead-with-mom
 Ok they are not Killer but they were found eating humans... who were already dead.

Next A few Movies that I will see and hopefully they come to Antigua:

Welcome to Rileys


I would watch this because it actually looks like this could break Kristin Stuart's curse of Twilight for a while. Plus it looks like a good drama.

Machete


This just looks BAD ASS!!!! AND it got some really good actors in it !!! yay!!!

Operation Endgame


It looks like it will be quite funny and got some action so i will watch it with an open mind.

Resident Evil: Afterlife


This is just Badass!!!! I will watch this in 3D Even if I am screaming all the time!!!

Vampires Suck


Anything to make fun of Twilight!!!!


How did you like how I bashed on Twilight twice!! To start and to end!!! Yeaah!!

And the movie the Expendables, with all those well known action movie actors,has a facebook game. If you enjoyed those old Arcade games where you can go up and down run left to right and jump and fire weapons which look inferior to ur opponents this is the game for you!!! Check it out!!

http://www.facebook.com/expendablesmovie?v=app_136379469711900


OXXO

Mayeshah!!!

Beach with a few of the gang and a lil touch of America's Got Talant!!!

I went to the beach with G, N, and this other chick and we had fun. Shoot we were at the beach!!! yay!!! So today was really good. The beach was good and after the beach was good too but I shall not go into that !!!

I had fun and I am happy that I didnt miss out :)

OXXO

Mayeshah!!!

P.S. Check this out!!

In a Rut that i cant escape

Ok Today I tried to exit this rut that i have been in for the past few years!!! But it didnt work.

I went to meet the guy J and it was awkward because he didnt talk much about anything that would make me wanna talk. "So when we gonna hang out?" Seriously, that just puts pressure on me and makes me feel withdrawn. That is one reason I enjoyed hanging with Will because he would spend hours by the store and not expect to go out. He did test his luck but I am very slick when it comes to those situations. Even when i was talkin to G and Kem we would just talk and there would be not much when we gonna meet up. So I gonna give up on that since most of the hr I spent at the store he works in I didnt talk much!

Before that I went to buy some tix for my sister and I to go to Blue Jeans (a party that everyone wheres at least one thing that is blue denim). So After a situation tonite I dont even feel like going again but that is the good thing about buying the tix, it drives you to actually go to the event.

So the event that drove me even more to ranting like this is I WANTED TO GO TO THE BEACH :'(

;_;    ;_;     ;_;.

Now I know it just sounded like I was whining just now but when stuff like this has happened in the past that you are either needed somewhere or you have no transport or you just cant go It just hurts sooo bad that it is still happening. So I told my friend that I cant go and his response that literally made me wanna cry (and i actually started to cry) was " Oh well, we'll miss you ... not. Lol" That had ripped my heart out jusst now and I just feel sooo bad.

Then I thought about it. Since this is certainly not the first time it has happened in order to not feel this disappointment ever again I would just turn down any invitation to anything and make up an excuse for not going. So, now that I know the reason why I stopped going places or depending on people for stuff, I will just slip back into that lil mentality and move on with my life.

Plus, I have decided to become celibate. So I shall just keep to myself for a while and hope that I would slip out of this rut sometime soon. :(

OX

Mayeshah

OVER AND OVER AND OVER I AM GIVEN SIGNS THAT I SUCK AS A HUMAN BEING!!!

Quotes like "Just Sky Dive:"
or "Make sure you enjoy your youth before it ends"
or "What is your hobby?"

 So what am I gonna do about it ?? ... I really dont know.

I talkin to this guy right now (J) and he wanna try and help me but i still keepin at a distance but he can tell just by stuff that i would say.. well type.

So I dunno what to do I wanna "Just Sky Dive" but i still scared and I most def wanna "Make sure I enjoy my youth before it ends". Plus I think i would like to make Bar tending " my hobby"

I dont wanna say cause i was shelterd because there are other ppl who were sheltered and they dont turn out like me.

OH SHIT!!!! Now J makin me think!!! fuckin hell!!! Mayeshah, Why do you always make excuses for not doing things???

I DONT KNOW :'(  I REALLY DONT KNOW !!!

I have been doing it for such a long time I just do it. I noticed it mostly when I was in RI and my friend C passed by my place and was askin what i was doing that night and i told him i was just gonna stay in and stay warm. I then got cursed out by 2 of my roommates and i ended up going out with C and it was just awkward cause i was going against everythign i had told him.


I will see what happens good lord

OXXO

Mayeshah!!!!

REBLOGGIN!!!

Blogger oh Blogger
Why dont you allow me to repost!!!
I have joined Tumblr so that I could
But it will never have that place in my heart
That you will always occupy!!!

OXXO

Mayeshah!!!

Justification

Ok I need to get this off of my shoulders some way or another and it is hard to say it to anyone.

But I need a single man!!!

I have been given advances to be sexually related to some of my guy friends but these guy friends are in relationships with Girl friends of mine. I use the word friends really really loosely. So I have thought about it, contemplated if it could work or what. I thought maybe if it was just out of curiousity if I wouldn't feel as guilty. But then I think that is where Facebook plays its part. I was just on fb and I saw one of the "prospective guy friends" out on a dinner date with one of my girl friends and I was like ......" why in heavens name would I even try anything with him even if it is out of curiousity!!!" I would not want it to be done to me so why would I even do it to someone else. Plus someone who I respect and enjoy hanging with. :(  After that I looked at the other prospective  guy friend and I was like " I have had a crush on this dude for  like 5 yrs. Why not just go through with it just out of PURE  Curiousity" Then I looked at his girl and it is someone that I talk to when she comes into the store. AARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!! So I made up my mind that they are most certainly off limits unless they are out of relationships. And I am happy that (1) Those dudes don't read my blog, (2) Those Girls don't read my blog, (3) even if anyone who knew them read my blog they wouldn't know if it was them exactly because I have lots of girl friends who fit the criteria above. Then after looking at the pictures of the girlfriends it popped into my mind! Why would these guys wanna try anything with me when they have girlfriends that look like that!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!! PPL Has  Gotta  Stop !!!! They have really pretty girls and still wanna be curious? Makes me wonder what is wrong with the picture or ...... (shit I lost my train of thought!!!) Oh well.

Well I shall put my conscience to good use!!! And either wait for these dudes to be single (which might be NEVER) or just wait for a single dude :( (Which might take FOREVER) (that is funny Never and Forever !hahahah!) Well I gonna go back to reading my book that I got from my friend in England :), HOT SEX by Tracey Cox.

OXXO

Mayeshah!!!

P.S. My head hurts from thinking about this shit too much and I was told by a friend that I think too much!!! FML

I just went through my email on Hotmail and came across this joke and it cracks me up everytime I read it!!!!:

A Little Black Girl


A stranger was seated next to a little Black girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."


The little girl, who had just opened her coloring book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"


"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "Since you are a Negro, do you think that President Barack Obama is qualified for the job?" and he smiles.


"OK", she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass -. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss President Barack Obama... when you don't know shit?"

TOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!


OXXO

Mayeshah!!!

Hi hi I was going through one of my fb updates and came across this:

http://www.searchantigua.com/festivals/antigua-seafood-fiesta/

This looks like something I would wanna go and check out!!!  *hint hint*
 On other notes

 I have been a bad bad blogger and I am sorry for not blogging :(

I just been in an awkward place lately!!! So I apologize again!! I will be blogging more often and you might get even more disturbed by the things I come across or even worst Think!!!!

LOL

Oh I found this on my girl Ordz page and found it really interesting. His first phrase catches you and makes you wanna know what else he is going to talk about!!!




OXXO

Mayeshah!!!