I am one who is afraid to be alone but once in a while it is great and liberating to be alone.
When I came across this video I remembered all the different activities I did by alone and I felt happy. Eg. Going to plays in RI, Going to the movies in Leeds, Going on a 5 day Scotland tour with a bunch of strangers, Sitting in the new JWU Cafe in one of the sofas and reading a book for hours.
Seriously those are some of the best times I have had in my entire life. So after seeing this I am going to make a promise to myself to go out by myself more. Even if it is to have lunch by myself or even to see a movie by myself just to be in my own mind.
This has also given me some ideas of what I can do by myself: lunch, dinner, movies, coffee, parks, clubs, etc.
I respect anyone who enjoys being by themself and love themselves like that!!
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Ceelo Green
See Everyone is talkin about Gold Diggers but this one hits it on the head!!!
OXXO
Mayeshah
OXXO
Mayeshah
"Add as Friend" and "Poke Me" in real life
When I saw this I was sooo impressed that I had to post it!!!
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Artificial Insemination (AI)
It is crazy that one of the big options in women's minds today is AI. There has been like 4 or 5 movies that has come out about this topic. Well If you are unaware what AI is check this out: BAM (hehe I just wanted to do this)
Well from what i am hearing around when you are getting too old or your ugly as shit or you are a workaholic (or scared of guys in my case) AI is the best option!!
I would love to hear what you have to say about this topic. It would be interesting to hear what your thoughts are on it!!
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
Well from what i am hearing around when you are getting too old or your ugly as shit or you are a workaholic (or scared of guys in my case) AI is the best option!!
I would love to hear what you have to say about this topic. It would be interesting to hear what your thoughts are on it!!
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
I just saw The Expendables!!! ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS MAKE SURE YOU WATCH IT AND THEN BUY THE DVD (not the bootleg one but the authentic)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But then I was informed that I spend too much time on my computer. I know it is try because I wake up (might or might not) go on my pc and spend some time on there. Then go to the store and then come back home and spend the rest of the night on my pc.
But That is what I have grown accustomed to while in Uni. So instead of being the normal 22 yr old I just stay home and stay online! Yes it is try i do nothing but stay online all the time.
But then I remembered something that was said to me when i was younger and I believe that is what I am struggling with right now! (it is not gonna be the exact wording but it is the moral behind it is all that matters)
This is the pure and honest truth. But I wouldnt be surprised if people laugh at me because of this but I have become so accustomed to being by myself and entertaining myself when I am at home that it is hard to break :'(
Oh well. Well i gonna start weening myself off of the computer, it gonna be hard but i guess i gotta start somewhere.
Wow :( I never felt so empty inside!! I felt soo good after the movie but now i feel soo empty. As if I dont know that I am lame and unsociable already.
I even wondering if I am right for the hospitality industry :(
I cant even call people that I consider are my friends. :(
Well I am outties
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
But then I was informed that I spend too much time on my computer. I know it is try because I wake up (might or might not) go on my pc and spend some time on there. Then go to the store and then come back home and spend the rest of the night on my pc.
But That is what I have grown accustomed to while in Uni. So instead of being the normal 22 yr old I just stay home and stay online! Yes it is try i do nothing but stay online all the time.
But then I remembered something that was said to me when i was younger and I believe that is what I am struggling with right now! (it is not gonna be the exact wording but it is the moral behind it is all that matters)
If you tight a baby elephant with a rope that he cant break at that age, when he gets older he will still believe that that same rope is still as strong as it was when he was a baby.
This is the pure and honest truth. But I wouldnt be surprised if people laugh at me because of this but I have become so accustomed to being by myself and entertaining myself when I am at home that it is hard to break :'(
Oh well. Well i gonna start weening myself off of the computer, it gonna be hard but i guess i gotta start somewhere.
Wow :( I never felt so empty inside!! I felt soo good after the movie but now i feel soo empty. As if I dont know that I am lame and unsociable already.
I even wondering if I am right for the hospitality industry :(
I cant even call people that I consider are my friends. :(
Well I am outties
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Today is soo calming!
Went to the store today and then about an hr later came back home and it kinda makes me wonder if I can enjoy the working world and living alone. I dont mind the thought of living alone. I actually cant wait. But It just felt right today!
However, There is a situation where when you find one dude the others just jump out of the woodworks.
I promised this dude that I would go to the movies with him one of these days. But so it wouldnt seem like I just making him wait forever I was planning on arranging a lil movie thing for Thursday (his Birthday - 19th Aug 2010) but there is a memorial service for Ordz that I want to go to! So i will just call him and wish him a happy birthday and hope that another day would come! Dont call me crazy or anything but one of the reasons I am actually gonna try this dating thing with him is because he is a....... Leo. I know it is lame but it is recorded by many sources that Leos and Sagittarians mesh well together. And I know I love to dance with this dude!! But yea and he also liked me for a long time so... yea!!
But then this other dude tellin me that he wanna go to the movies with me. and then saying that he has liked me for a long time and he wanna get to know me better and i wouldnt mind but I only think that in the state he is in he only wants to have fun! (since he is one of those ppl who has been hurt and isnt going to give up his heart that easily)
But then again there is this other dude that I wanna get with but I not sure if he is still into me. :( I wanna call and all but I dunno!
Good lord!!! Help me in this time of being lost!!
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
Went to the store today and then about an hr later came back home and it kinda makes me wonder if I can enjoy the working world and living alone. I dont mind the thought of living alone. I actually cant wait. But It just felt right today!
However, There is a situation where when you find one dude the others just jump out of the woodworks.
I promised this dude that I would go to the movies with him one of these days. But so it wouldnt seem like I just making him wait forever I was planning on arranging a lil movie thing for Thursday (his Birthday - 19th Aug 2010) but there is a memorial service for Ordz that I want to go to! So i will just call him and wish him a happy birthday and hope that another day would come! Dont call me crazy or anything but one of the reasons I am actually gonna try this dating thing with him is because he is a....... Leo. I know it is lame but it is recorded by many sources that Leos and Sagittarians mesh well together. And I know I love to dance with this dude!! But yea and he also liked me for a long time so... yea!!
But then this other dude tellin me that he wanna go to the movies with me. and then saying that he has liked me for a long time and he wanna get to know me better and i wouldnt mind but I only think that in the state he is in he only wants to have fun! (since he is one of those ppl who has been hurt and isnt going to give up his heart that easily)
But then again there is this other dude that I wanna get with but I not sure if he is still into me. :( I wanna call and all but I dunno!
Good lord!!! Help me in this time of being lost!!
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Some pics
Here are a few pics that either interested me or has hit a nerve!!
This one is just soo cool!!!
I love how the blog owner literally just PAWNED this follower!!! hahahaha
Seriously, some ppl need to understand that Pro-Life is the reason there are so much retarded ppl and ppl who are living in poverty!!! Plus there are situations where little girls are raped (statutory or otherwise) and gets pregnant and their body is unable to handle pregnancy!!! GOSH!!!!!!!
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
This one is just soo cool!!!
I love how the blog owner literally just PAWNED this follower!!! hahahaha
Seriously, some ppl need to understand that Pro-Life is the reason there are so much retarded ppl and ppl who are living in poverty!!! Plus there are situations where little girls are raped (statutory or otherwise) and gets pregnant and their body is unable to handle pregnancy!!! GOSH!!!!!!!
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
Soneva Kiri
OHHHH OOOMMMMMM!!!! OOOOMMMMMGGGGGG!!!!!
This place is epic!!!
Ok lets start from the beginning.
I received a blog entry from Sometimes I Type Things and I saw a picture of something that makes the neurons in your brain go crazy!!!! So I am curious to where this picture and where I can get an explanation to what this picture is and where I can see more of it!!! So I continued looking back to see where she reblogged it from and if they had any explanation about it and I found this!!!! TOOOTTTALLLY Epic!!!
But to show you what pic gave me a royal Mind F*** it was this
Tell me this isnt sick!!! Looks like a mix between Ong Bak and Inception LOL!!!
Well I gonna continue perusing the internet :)
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
This place is epic!!!
Ok lets start from the beginning.
I received a blog entry from Sometimes I Type Things and I saw a picture of something that makes the neurons in your brain go crazy!!!! So I am curious to where this picture and where I can get an explanation to what this picture is and where I can see more of it!!! So I continued looking back to see where she reblogged it from and if they had any explanation about it and I found this!!!! TOOOTTTALLLY Epic!!!
But to show you what pic gave me a royal Mind F*** it was this
Tell me this isnt sick!!! Looks like a mix between Ong Bak and Inception LOL!!!
Well I gonna continue perusing the internet :)
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
Friday, August 6, 2010
wookin' pa nub
It is interesting that after writing the previous blog entry I finally read this article by Mr Smart Guy!!!
Check him out!!!
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
Check him out!!!
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Why I Put down myself, Who should I follow,Who is a worthless woman?
So the question of the day is why do i put down myself so much T_T
I seriously dont know. Maybe because I hate what i see right now. But then why dont I change it? Then again another excuse for not doing anything. I do have the slim in 6 but what is stopping me?
So today when one of the ladies at the store was leaving she was saying goodbye, and at the store we tend to make all kinda stupid jokes and crap. So she was saying Goodbye Mrs ______, Goodbye Mrs ______, Goodbye Ms Mayeshah. Then she said that I need to hurry and get married and my first response was where I gonna get a man? I need the man first? Then one of the other ladies said "You were in the states for how long and didnt get a man?"
My first response is "Those guys dont want me!!"
ALL 3 ladies started cursing me out saying I should not say that. I shouldnt wish that on myself. Shoot one of them threatened to stop talking to me :(
When they were cursing me out right then my eyes began to water and it took everything in me to not make it brim over.
So this thing is an unconscious thing where I fear hanging with guys and I automatically put myself down.
Then they were saying even if I go and get a kid just to prove that I am good. That is when all 3 ladies said that is basically what they did and they still love themselves and think that they are HOT!
I then noticed what they were saying was going against what my dad has been preaching in our heads since I was a lil girl "I dont want no bastard grandchild"
So that is the sub-question of the day:
Who should I follow?
Should I be smart and find a guy that will love me for me (who might never come along EVER) or should I live life and do what others are doing in a smart manner (Have kids and raise them properly whether or not there is a male figure in the picture)
But then again I agree with my sis, I not sure I want my child having my father as the sole father figure. I love my dad and all but some of my fears are erected by him. :(
And then the situation with fearing guys, I see ways of overcoming it but I not sure if I can do it without having more freedom. So If I am as smart as my JWU Degrees imply that I am I should get a job quick fast and in a hurry and gain the freedom that I really seek.
Another question: What makes a woman worthless????? When she is sleeping around with all kinda man or when she have a kid at a young age When a woman has such low self esteem that she cant even get a man and ppl begin talking about her saying she cant get a man?
In both cases they both relate to other peoples perceptions of you but out of the 2 women which would be seen as the worthless woman? Well to one of the ladies where I am heading, the woman with such low self esteem that she cant even get a man is the worthless one!
Well I heading off to bed now so tttfn!!!
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
I seriously dont know. Maybe because I hate what i see right now. But then why dont I change it? Then again another excuse for not doing anything. I do have the slim in 6 but what is stopping me?
So today when one of the ladies at the store was leaving she was saying goodbye, and at the store we tend to make all kinda stupid jokes and crap. So she was saying Goodbye Mrs ______, Goodbye Mrs ______, Goodbye Ms Mayeshah. Then she said that I need to hurry and get married and my first response was where I gonna get a man? I need the man first? Then one of the other ladies said "You were in the states for how long and didnt get a man?"
My first response is "Those guys dont want me!!"
ALL 3 ladies started cursing me out saying I should not say that. I shouldnt wish that on myself. Shoot one of them threatened to stop talking to me :(
When they were cursing me out right then my eyes began to water and it took everything in me to not make it brim over.
So this thing is an unconscious thing where I fear hanging with guys and I automatically put myself down.
Then they were saying even if I go and get a kid just to prove that I am good. That is when all 3 ladies said that is basically what they did and they still love themselves and think that they are HOT!
I then noticed what they were saying was going against what my dad has been preaching in our heads since I was a lil girl "I dont want no bastard grandchild"
So that is the sub-question of the day:
Who should I follow?
Should I be smart and find a guy that will love me for me (who might never come along EVER) or should I live life and do what others are doing in a smart manner (Have kids and raise them properly whether or not there is a male figure in the picture)
But then again I agree with my sis, I not sure I want my child having my father as the sole father figure. I love my dad and all but some of my fears are erected by him. :(
And then the situation with fearing guys, I see ways of overcoming it but I not sure if I can do it without having more freedom. So If I am as smart as my JWU Degrees imply that I am I should get a job quick fast and in a hurry and gain the freedom that I really seek.
Another question: What makes a woman worthless????? When she is sleeping around with all kinda man or when she have a kid at a young age
In both cases they both relate to other peoples perceptions of you but out of the 2 women which would be seen as the worthless woman? Well to one of the ladies where I am heading, the woman with such low self esteem that she cant even get a man is the worthless one!
Well I heading off to bed now so tttfn!!!
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
Confession:
When I was younger (like in early high school) I used to watch a show on MTV called Undressed!!!And as soon as I had finished the blog just awhile ago I saw this pic which reminded me soo much of that show:
Then with my curiousity I wondered if you could find it using the all mighty Google! And I did right here!!
So now that I am older I wouldnt feel soo bad watching it!!! lol!!
OK I am outy!
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
When I was younger (like in early high school) I used to watch a show on MTV called Undressed!!!And as soon as I had finished the blog just awhile ago I saw this pic which reminded me soo much of that show:
Then with my curiousity I wondered if you could find it using the all mighty Google! And I did right here!!
So now that I am older I wouldnt feel soo bad watching it!!! lol!!
OK I am outy!
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
Break from Facebook and Jouvert Pics!!
Ok I am doing a lil test !!!!
I am deleting my account for a week and see what will happen.
One of my girls had deleted her account like 2 months ago and she said she feels sooo free. And she loves actually hanging out with her friends. Soo Even though I have my blogger and my youtube account I wont have the ability to spend HOURS on FB.
So I began last night by deactivating my account. It is not permanent because I got all my pics on there. But I will see how this works out!!
So I should be putting stuff up more here cause this is the only place that I can air my feeling ^_^!!!!
Ohhh As I had promised the pics of Jouvert. I had to go over all the pics and see which ones are the best and I shall share the before and after even though this year we came back lookin good!!
Before me
Before Kim
After me and Kim
Front
Back
Yes that is a whole in the back!!!
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
I am deleting my account for a week and see what will happen.
One of my girls had deleted her account like 2 months ago and she said she feels sooo free. And she loves actually hanging out with her friends. Soo Even though I have my blogger and my youtube account I wont have the ability to spend HOURS on FB.
So I should be putting stuff up more here cause this is the only place that I can air my feeling ^_^!!!!
Ohhh As I had promised the pics of Jouvert. I had to go over all the pics and see which ones are the best and I shall share the before and after even though this year we came back lookin good!!
Before me
Before Kim
After me and Kim
Front
Back
Yes that is a whole in the back!!!
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
:)
Today is a nice day, I havent felt soo at peace in a long time. This Carnival Sunday is just soo right. It is the calm before the storm for me. Wake up, assist in the making of the breaky...oh snap I need to check the eggplant. brb.
Ok they not done yet :)
But yea. it is a nice day :) It is the type of day that the only way it can get on ur nerves is if you actually look for something to get on ur nerves.
Well I think we gonna b going in town soon to accommodate some of the ppl who came late yesterday.
Oh and tomorrow is Jouvert (the climax for our Carnival..well at least for me) If only you saw the outfit. Tomorrow (or Tuesday I will put up pics of the outfit and the outfit on me.
Well I gonna get ready to go to town now. TTFN
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
Ok they not done yet :)
But yea. it is a nice day :) It is the type of day that the only way it can get on ur nerves is if you actually look for something to get on ur nerves.
Well I think we gonna b going in town soon to accommodate some of the ppl who came late yesterday.
Oh and tomorrow is Jouvert (the climax for our Carnival..well at least for me) If only you saw the outfit. Tomorrow (or Tuesday I will put up pics of the outfit and the outfit on me.
Well I gonna get ready to go to town now. TTFN
OXXO
Mayeshah!!!
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