You are probably thinking omg this bitch aint got shit to do 3 blogs in one night. But I just had to do them so :P. However, unless you are really interested and dont have anything else to do continue reading because this one is gonna be long.
So on the bus they have newspapers called Metro, which are FREEEE!!!!!! I picked up one that was left by someone who was on the bus earlier. So I looked on the front page and saw President Obama and First Lady Michelle holding hands. So I was like awwwww, that is sooo cute. So I decided to continue and see what was inside and on the second page I saw a movie that looked interesting "The Boat That Rocked." So when I see it I will give my review on it.
On page 3, I was kinda shocked because it was a bunch of pictures of Unique stuff I shall go from the least interesting to like the coolest.
1. Amphibian with a false leg - This is a friggin frog that got a friggin false leg. WTF in the old days that mothersucker would have either lived its life with 3 legs or just died. wtf it need a false leg for. GOSH
2. Baa Clan - This mothersucker painting his sheep in different designs cause he has nothing better to do. So now these friggin sheep are a tourist attraction. DAMN SHEEP ALL OVER THE PLACE.
3. The Invisible Vehicle- Now this dude was tired of the speed camera always catching him in the act. So he put a special film that blurs the flsh from cameras making it "INVISIBLE" in photos. Now this dude is smart,real smart.
4. (Now this was the most interesting because I am a Hotel Major) THE HOTELICOPTER - "Sky high prices will be the norm at the world's first flying hotel. The 18 rooms in the 'hotelicopter' feature sound-proofing and whirlpool baths and are reserved for 'adrenaline junkies seeking a truly unique experience'. It was made by expert Alvin Farley, who spent five years converting a Russian 137m (450ft) Mil V-12." Now that is what you call a Unique Selling Point of the Hotel.
Page 7 Three sons' wives 'kept like slaves' - this lady (mother in law) treated her sons' wives as "slaves and dogs" making one of them work day and night on a sewing machine. Now you wondering what White, Black, Spanish, Chinese mothersucking woman gonna allow some bitch make them do shit like that. But with the name like Naseebah Bibi you can tell that it is none of those races there. Now it is one thing if ya man beating you and threatening his wife but the MOTHER IN LAW?? THIS SHIT WAS GOING ON FOR 13 YRS. These 3 gals ( Nagina Akhtar, Tazeem Akhtar and Nisbah Akhtar) came to the uk from Pakistan as part of arranged marriages hoping to live happily with their man and dem. But that friggin 63 y/o woman Bibi denied these gals access to the outside world and made them do "gruelling work". NOW WHAT THE MAN A DO??? These mothersuckers are ignoring their wives. Now that is some shit right there.
Page 9 - "I was Ordered out of pub for being pregnant". All i gotta say is bitch from the way you look I can imagine ur mama drank when she was preggy with you. So they right so that ya pickney nah come out lakka you. Sorry But damn Drinking and Pregnant dont mix.
- Nightmare evictee 'blows up home' - this crazy mothersucker blew up the house because he was being evicted for harassment, intimidation and filming neighbours. They are assuming that this dude was in the house when it blew up. For shame. Crazy 58 y/o man.
Page 11 - Routes of Knowledge- this kid loves buses. yes ... buses. Loves them so much he memorised all the routes for his home ton of Southampton. Now that is LOVE!!!
- 3 YRS JAIL FOR BITING OFF TONGUE - UHHHHH.... ok... this chick bit off 1/3 of her man's tongue during a bday kiss. This bitch was drunk and so was the dude off of 2 bottles of VODKA. It is a shame. but oh well.
Page 12 - TRICKY LANDING FOR 3 WOOLY JUMPERS - as i said with the friggin frog in the past these damn animals woulda dead. chups. But yea these sheep were grazing on some sweet ass grass until they tumbled down the damn cliff ... they all tumbled down a cliff and landed on a ledge. The RSPCA rescuers went and rescued these cold and wet sheep from their sad situation.
Page 14 - (i dunno if you ever heard of Christian the lion but it is soo cute) Back in 1970 a couple of Australians took advantage of some relaxed laws to give the king of the jungle the run of their Chelsea flat. A LION IN UR HOUSE... WOW.
Page 17 - a dude can lift a 56 lb boy in a sling with his beard. now that is special.
Well that is all the stories that caught my eye. There will be updates of other papers. So yea :)
OXXO
Mayeshah
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