15th June 2009 Update

Dear Readers,

Today was soo weird... I just dont know what has gotten into me lately. I have been going through some mental barriers. Or should I say trying.

This morning I woke up to the sound of my retired neighbor calling out my name from outside my window asking me if I wasnt coming walking. ( I am a fat fart so I am trying to get healthy the "Healthy way" EFF!!!) So I rushed to get ready and went walking. We walked to the other village and then came back and I heard about soo many people within that short period of time that I know before I go back to JWU I will know the story about alot of people from the village and she wont know anything about me. LOL. But yea.. then when I got back in I got some water and went onto my lil netbook. I was watching my subscriptions and like midway through I ate 2 club social crackers. I then went to get ready and didnt go into the kitchen to eat. So I left the house with only Club Social in my system. Great way to start the day huh?

Then I went to the bank and forgot to go into Heritage Quay to get the thing for the house keeper. So I have to make sure to do it tomorrow. I also have a way of blocking out the world by turning up my mp3 to block out the worlds sounds. I saw a few of my friends. Felt good and all but then when I went to the store I just felt like life just slowed down. Mom told me she was hungry and since one of her staff was going out to get food she just gave her money to get us some too. So food came we ate and continued working. Only like ...2 -3 hours later I noticed I didnt drink anything since the cup of water this morning. So I got some water and continued being around the store helping customers and stuff. Then I decided I was going to go outside by the door and look at people. Then I saw someone that I had recognized but I just couldnt remember from where. Then when they acknowledged me I noticed who it was. The dude that I kinda mouthed off to. So he is trying to arrange something where I come over by him. But I kept making excuses as usual. Next thing I noticed boss man buss off when some other chicks he knew were going up the road and he didnt say anything to me. So in my mind I am thinking that could be used as a stallin point. He better watch himself. Yea .... So I there walkin up the aisle of the store and just thinkin about my future and career and love life and realized. I am effing screwed. Gosh. I need time to effing think about it.

So I was their sitting at the store with headphones on and thinking about those 3 issues. Noticing I have to do the pros and cons thing to see how everything works. Then Ijust gave up and was on a serious thought of breaking down but I was at the store so I held it in.

Then we came home and I was like what is the point of eating. My dad was making his over oiled ... ok maybe not but it smelt like burnt oil and... rice. So I instantly got sick and decided to get to work on my girl Deja to see how the storage is going on but ... she was going somewhere. So Now I am willowin in self hatred because I gave in to my mental hunger. Yea But at least I got my friends to keep me happy. I dont ask people to pray for me so just hope I dont go off the deep end.


OXXO

Mayeshah!!