Whit Monday entry

Dear Readers,

Today is pretty cool, it is peaceful and I am here listening to some music. Did my Resume and just surfing the net and talkin to some of my ppl. I enjoyed this weekend. However it is almost done and I will be dealing with getting a job and going to visit my big bro :) ok i am going to go off into a tangent about a whole ton of bull crap. So if you got a problem with my mental vomits close the window now.

I am a 21 year old young lady. I hold myself to high standards but I still want to be the freak in the sheets type. Then when you meet guys they just want to screw you and how the hell am I to feel that I can be in a "Relationship" (aka R word)that isnt based solely on sex. I talk alot about sex I admit but it is just an interesting topic to find out different people's perspectives on. I have prospective guys that i can screw but I dont want just a screw. I want someone that will be able to go clubbin with me and would just chill with me ... but then again. I dont chill. I guess if I concrete the idea of being more open when i am living by myself. I have thought that if I do want to go buck wild I can in my home. Or if i want to chill with someone I could invite them over. But damn ... I need some TLC and I always making excuses to avoid being in any thing. Damn. I need a life!! or at least a man! I am tired of ppl saying man is not worth it but I am not interested in girls and one of the needs in life is companionship. I find it is better to know what it feels like to be obsessed (not as Obsessed as that heifer in the movie Obsessed)and to feel hurt. I want to know what other people are crying over. I want to know what ppl are abandoning their friends for (no i not talkin bout none of my friends). But I want to know. How can I grow if I dont know. well I will just have to take people's advise and be patient. But the longer i wait the more likely that I would get hurt worst. Ok I done screw it . Maybe if i just have fun and then focus on my need later when i actually ready. Just have to make sure it is a safe screw. God I am still talkin (thinkin) I done. Until I think about it again and then do another entry about it

OXXO

Mayeshah!!